See I just got this mind-blowing 2nd theory of void month ... See when buggy uses his devil fruit he becomes 'MANY PEICES' but when he brings himself to normal he becomes the 'ONE PEICE' .. HAHAHA
I know it's for fun but please comment your views on buggy.. he's one of the very nicely shown character.. Some points . He was the first real pirate rival LUFFY made . (* Those who'll say alvida:- guys , LUFFY just fought her for sake of Coby ) but while fighting buggy luffy was already a captain and had two crewmates.. so yes it's fine to say that luffy's first pirate enemy was buggy....
Both buggy and luffy ate their Devil fruits because of shanks and after eating when they drowned they both were saved by shanks.
Buggy and luffy's Devil fruits also contradict each other .. the gonu gonu no mi( well it's name changed, but let's play it simple) is prone to cutting attacks and bara bara no mi ( buggy's df) can easily take cutting attacks and it's only prone to punching and kicking attacks .
Another reason is that buggy has been the one who nearly executed luffy in lougetown on the same day Roger died 22 yrs ago .. Buggy was present on the same town 22 yrs ago too.
He entered the grandline because of luffy and they entered the grandline at about the same time.
Also before all that he also met that friend of strawhats who was fixed in a treasure chest.. sorry I forgot the name.
Then buggy was there with luffy in impel down and breaking out of impeldown made quite a name for buggy as he was the prime suspect with luffy.
Also in impel down while free luffy was breaking in , buggy was breaking out..
Then in marine Ford both luffy and buggy talked with WB . Shouted at him. Challenged him . And then allied with him.
Both buggy and luffy faced mihawk and all three admirals head on and still lived.
Also buggy was the one who wanted fame and stole that light transponder snail for that reason and luffy just got famous for what he did.
Then he became a warlord and as that tittle abolished .. he very easily became a yonko at the same time luffy became one. In the same chapter.
And just after becoming a yonko luffy's all beaten up by nami and buggy's all beaten up by crocodile and mihawk.
I guess it might be all goda planning things out . And buggy clearly has a very very big role in final saga ... He's the great lord BUGGY D. CLOWN Afterall . . . Hope you people will love writing about buggy-sama

Hello everyone! I am through my 5th month of sobriety and wanted to share some thoughts with y'all! Might help as motivation for those on the same path. I know when I started my journey I spent a lot of time reading other peoples stories, so here's mine.
A bit of background - my GF and I decided to go "straight edge" starting on Jan 1. We are both in our early 30's and decided that it was time to try for a baby. We both worked in hospitality (serving and bartending) for most of our 20's and the lifestyle really got the better of me in particular.
For the last 10 ish year's I have never gone more than a day or two without drinking. My general daily routine was to stop by the liquor store after work, pick up a bunch of tall cans and go home and drink until it was time for bed. I was averaging about 4-6 tall cans on a regular week night and 10-20 drinks a night on the weekend - let's call it anywhere from 40-60 drinks a week.
The decision to try and start a family was the catalyst, but the effects on my body and mind are what keep me motivated to continue my sober journey. I won't go into all the details but after a couple months of struggling, I'm sitting here on a Saturday morning sipping a coffee and relaxing with my partner across from me. She is three months pregnant now (I still can't believe it) and our relationship has never been stronger. I haven't felt this alive and present and connected to my thoughts and emotions in... as long as I can remember. I'm really proud of myself, and of her, that we are doing this important part of "growing up" together with clear minds.
So I guess my takeaways (so far) are:

• Having a partner to lean on and to endeavor through this process has been paramount to my success.
• Having an external motivator / goal was necessary. I have never seriously attempted sobriety on my own, but the goal of trying to become parents and conceive a healthy baby was obviously a strong motivator for me.
• I estimate I was spending about $700 a month at the liquor store - so I've saved about $3,500 in 5 months.
• Smoking was actually much harder for me to quit than drinking. I relied on nicotine lozenges for a few weeks to help with the cravings. Quitting alcohol AND smoking at the same time was probably a bad idea, I would maybe recommend starting with one and transitioning to the other.
• I dealt with some aggressive mood swings and an intense low period where I felt unreasonably sad and depressed for a few weeks during the first few two months. My doctor explained this was likely something called Anhedonia which, thankfully, has passed. This group was a helpful resource during that time - reading other people's stories helped me a lot.
• As I reflect on the changes I've experienced I think the biggest "aha" moment I've had is I the realization that I was using drinking as a crutch because I have never really learned how to properly regulate and respond to my emotional states. If you're sad or stressed out or angry - grab a drink! If you're partying and in a great mood - grab a drink! Alcohol (and to a degree, nicotine) literally, chemically make you feel awesome. If you're the type of person who has a low threshold for self-regulating then it's dangerously easy to take it too far. (I am that type of person lol.)
• The reactions from my friends, family and co-workers have been mixed. I was always known as the guy who loved to party and have a good time, would always be down to grab a drink after work. Now suddenly I'm ordering soda water and I think that freaked some people out. It's weird how defensive people get - like they automatically assume you're judging them for drinking when you're not.

Anyway - hope everyone is having a great weekend - IWNDWYT!

Hi everyone. Very detailed and lengthy dream here so be ready. I’ll try to cut some detail out just to make it easier to follow.
I had a dream last night that we were like 1000ish years into the future and earth was fairly similar to what it is now: the greenery, technology, daily living, basically it’s almost like we came to a halt in progression.. but theres a catch.
Each day for about 1-2 minutes at random, the sun (or this huge round sky sphere thing) gets violently bright to the point that it turns silver-white, has visible electricity waves surrounding its orbit, and it’s able to come to earth and stroll/walk around to see us. Babies, toddlers, kids, and teenagers are exempt from this and see nothing, except their parents shuddering and covering their faces in a corner. Their compassion and fear (as it’s always been) is very genuine and childlike, but can be distracting during these ”inspections”. The way we can prevent ourselves from being burned alive or stung is by covering our eyes and avoiding contact. It’s almost so bright you can see it thru your hands over your face, but they’re oddly still protective. We’re instructed we are to NEVER tell them what we see or we will be annihilated by its wrath. The pain someone feels and occasionally sees with our neighbors is unbearable and ugly. The person is conscious the entire time until the light shuts off. It’s got to feel like the longest 1-2 minutes for them.
This light occasionally comes to us very small and dim to holds a “human-race meeting” as a means to get input about earthly issues. It’s able to do what we ask ONLY if we can come together and decide what’s best or most broken that needs addressing. One day we all were in a meeting, it asks the question “I want to change things up going forward. How should I handle the next generation of children, nearing adulthood? Your benefit to this is you will have immunity to my ‘light-inspections’ and you guys will go back to only seeing your normal sunlight, but the young adults around you will not.”
We all mutter amongst ourselves and try to decide what’s best for the kids. One person suggests “keep it the same” and another suggests “let us bear it so they, and future generations after, dont have to”. Keep in mind, some of these people are parents and are trying to think rational. It confirms that once the decision is made, we cannot go back on it. This one guy is known to be very vocal and angry, but he’s also very smart and critical. The entire time, most of us are trying to hear past his angry demeanor and listen to what he’s saying. While he does make some valid points, It’s mostly about how he’s generally unhappy with the light even being involved in our lives like this. So we brush him off.
If it’s one thing we’ve learned through this, it’s how to not be reactive to someone, but rather how to get their message and listen closer. A lot of us now have something in common so random strangers are easier to approach, people are generally more friendly everywhere, introverted people are less anxiety-ridden, and your choices don’t get judged or shamed by anyone now because we’ve all learned that there’s bigger issues earth has that previous generations left behind. No one is above the other and most material things don’t matter anymore, and haven’t for a few millennia (eg celebrity status, political affiliations, country-based issues, how much money you have, etc).
We all find a common agreement that ‘the new generation wouldn’t need to close their eyes or hide their face anymore. They can see it but it won’t harm them by just looking’. We turn around and announce our decision, and light complies. However, light can be very strategic if we don’t ask questions before making a decision… After considering the decision we made, someone pointed out how unusually quiet the angry guy got and he never spoke up about our decision.
We forget to consider that the light could be tempting and they’d want to reach out and touch it and that part went unaddressed. We discover that the angry guy knew this would be an issue, but chose to remain quiet about it because, again, he was unhappy with the light. We call onto light and inform it of what we discovered. After all kinds of arguing and public outrage, It finally says that it would be willing to allow us to redecide the fate of the next generation if the angry man volunteers to sacrifice himself. This comes with no surprise, but he declines. We see light getting more aggressive, brighter, and hotter. We frantically prepare for what’s to come, but angry guy and light are getting intense and light actually zaps him. We stopped doing what we were doing and noticed. He endures his pain, we all watched, and he’s watching us asking for help through his eyes. We can’t interfere. After a long 2 minutes, it’s over, dramatically darker, and we’re left in a quiet state of shock, just wondering what happened and what was left undecided. We’re unsure if this was a good choice because after all, he was a very intelligent person aside from his anger.
The real me wakes up out of my sleep and I’m just as confused. I felt like I time traveled or something and I’m back in my bed now. Very symbolic and re-shifts focus in my personal life.

Hello, all!
After two years of fruitless searching and feeling completely rejected by the world and crippled by my impaired social skills keeping me from making the necessary "connections," I finally managed to land a very nice job in my field of study, surrounded by very kind coworkers!
I'd like to share my experience in case it can help others in the autism community, and so maybe some of you won't have to have as much trouble as I did.
First, I'd like to talk about a conclusion I came to which, while helpful in some ways, was also a significant source of depression for me when trying to solve this problem: "I can't make someone choose me." This is true of friendships, so I don't try; it feels like manipulation to knowingly do so, therefore I try to avoid masking. The same is also true of getting a job; I can't make a hiring manager choose me and it feels wrong to be anything less than completely accurate and honest, so I couldn't "pad" my resume, in spite of the advice I was repeatedly given to subtly change the wording to make myself sound more important or skilled than I felt I actually was, e.g. turning "Lawn Mower" to "Landscaping Engineer" or some other such nonsense.
This was made worse by the fact that I didn't have a lot of experience in my chosen field, namely mechanical engineering, having gotten my bachelor's degree just before COVID but not being able to do anything with it afterwards, and while there were plenty of companies looking to hire engineers, they didn't want anyone with less than 5 years of experience; "how is anyone supposed to get that experience if you don't hire them!?" It was a horrible catch-22 that I couldn't do anything to get out of, and it completely robbed me of hope; I thought my life was basically over before it had a chance to get started.
This wasn't helped by the fact that most hiring is done through employee referral. On the one hand, I can completely understand and even respect the logic and mechanics behind it: The person who wants to get hired is incentivized to say or do whatever it takes to get the job, and you can literally say anything on a resume or in an interview, whether you're qualified for the job or not; (kind of reminds me of masking, actually). Once someone is hired, the manager is stuck with them for a while, whether they can do the job or not, potentially wasting the manager a lot of time and money, so it's in their best interest to find people they already trust, like family or friends, or people their friends, family, or coworkers already trust, because their friends will have an accurate model of an interviewee's character from before they were trying to get hired; before they had a conflict of interest.
However, at the same time, this makes it really hard for people on the autism spectrum, like me, to get work, because I don't know enough people to vouch for me, and certainly none in the field of work I'm interested in, nor do I enjoy going out and rubbing elbows. Everyone who gave me advice on getting a job kept telling me to "network" without explaining to me what that meant; I assumed it meant going to parties or noisy industry conventions or expos where I wouldn't be able to understand anyone over the hubbub, let alone hold a conversation and make a good first impression. I was getting advice from my family and my school's career office to do all sorts of things, like emailing people I knew in my community or my teachers asking if they knew anyone who worked in my industry, or signing up for websites like LinkedIn and Indeed and contacting complete strangers who went to the same school as me and to essentially ask them for a job but in a backhanded way. Admittedly, everyone I contacted was very nice and seemed to genuinely want to help me, which I wasn't expecting (I just assumed nobody wanted me interrupting their day), but I felt really uncomfortable doing it (because I felt like I was just using them) and none of these contacts ever came to anything, though I may not have given it enough time; signing up for half a dozen job-alert websites didn't help me either. It was only later that I learned that "networking" is just doing the stuff you like and hanging out with/talking to people doing the same thing with or in parallel with you. I was specifically posting invention ideas on Engineering and asking for advice on my designs. Not only were there lots of helpful people there who pointed out my mistakes gently, but they were even giving me links to book downloads and suggesting I apply for work where they worked; if that's not an employee referral, I don't know what is! When I talked about this with my therapist, I was completely blown away when they told me that that this was networking; not nearly as hard or painful as I thought it was.
Eventually though, in spite of all these challenges in my way, I came to a second important conclusion: as an engineer, I try to understand and design meticulously calculated solutions to every problem. However, there are things some things I simply can't control or predict, or in the case of human beings, shouldn't try to control. For those things I can't control directly, I can at least play the numbers, i.e. the probabilities. The odds of getting a job from just applying for it are about 1%, if I remember correctly, jumping up to about 20% if you have an employee referral. So, since I couldn't force an employee referral, I just had to apply to +100 jobs. It is, fortunately or unfortunately, no more complicated than that, at least by itself; no secret tricks or gimmicks. However, I also had some constraints on what kinds of jobs I felt like I could do (that wouldn't make me loathe existence like the last one) without compromising my genuine psychological and sensory needs, but also in an area I could commute or move to, because I wanted to stay close to my immediate family. So, all I did was look up the kinds of businesses I was interested in working for in Google Maps, within a certain distance of my home, and got their contact information or went to their websites; again, not that complicated, and I just resolved to find a certain number of businesses or make a certain number of contacts every day until it was done.
As a tangent, another piece of well-meant advice I was given that didn't really pan out was that I needed to actually call the companies I was interested in working at, for reasons I could never entirely understand; apparently neurotypicals get a stronger emotional response from a disembodied voice than an email; still sounds like subtle emotional manipulation to me. I think this advice came out of the pre-internet age, and whether it's true or not, none of those places ended up hiring me anyway.
Nowadays, most companies have an email address posted on their website, if not a messaging system built straight into the website, or job-board of open positions that you can just press a button to apply for. Once I had that information, I just sent them a short, simple, straightforward email saying,
"Hello. My name is __________. I'm a recent engineering graduate, I found your website and am interested in the kind of work you do. I've attached my resume if you'd like to look it over. Please let me know if I can be of any assistance."
sending a check-in email no sooner than 2 weeks later to make sure they read it, if they didn't respond beforehand.
While it was still a bit nerve-wracking to make these unsolicited emails to strangers, it also felt a lot more natural and honest in content, because I was just stating the facts of my situation, as I perceived them, and more respectful of their freedom of choice, because I wasn't asking them for anything or trying to trick them though roundabout means. Furthermore, because it was an email, they could choose whether they wanted to respond to it or not; it's not bugging them because they can read it at their leisure and don't even have to respond if they don't want to; responsibility for the results was completely off my plate.
On the one hand, I felt like most people who didn't know me would have no interest in helping me, because they presumably had their own problems that were a higher priority to them than mine, and that most of these emails would therefore be ignored, so what would even be the point of writing them? However, I've since learned that, because everyone has been in the position of needing a job and having trouble finding one at some point in their lives, the hiring managers tend to actually be quite sympathetic, and if they don't have a position available, sometimes they will make one for you, or at least keep your contact info on file in case a position becomes available in the future. It was awkward sending emails to strangers at first, but after a while, I got used to it, and the more feedback I got, the more comfortable it became, finding that most of them didn't just reject me out of hand like I assumed they would. Most of them at least seemed to give me a chance.
It was a lot of emails to send, and a lot of waiting, which was often worse than the emails and phone calls, as I watched my bank account slowly dwindle away over the months; didn't help that I was doing this on the tail-end of COVID. However, once I'd made contact with nearly 100 employers that I wanted to work for, (not ones I felt like I had to work for because I had no better options, like my previous job), almost like clockwork, I started getting requests for interviews around the 90th-100th contact. It was really disheartening to have most of those applications politely rejected, when they were answered at all, and even more disheartening when I got turned down after the interviews and I'd gotten my hopes up. But eventually did find a place that wanted me. It took about 2 months before they finally read my email, and at the time they read it, they weren't even looking for more workers, but they liked what was on my resume, they liked me as a person, and when I went to the interview and had a look around, I liked them and the workplace too; it's a very small company, everyone does a little bit of everything, so I wouldn't get bored, everyone is pretty laid back, helps each other out, and is courteous and accommodating to each other. And even when they're super busy, it doesn't feel like we're under pressure to "do our jobs or else"; more like "all hands on deck" to get the product ready before FedEx comes to pick it up. In fact, I ended up working a couple 10 and 11 hour days during my first week, not because anyone asked me to, but because I arrived when they were really busy I just wanted to; I can't entirely explain why; once the crisis was over, the boss insisted I go home early for the rest of the week after that because they didn't want me to burn myself out.
It's also taken a lot of scary adjustments and a few compromises; I had to expand my search envelope, move away from home for the first time and figure out how to rent an apartment and live by myself. There are also a lot of scary unknowns ahead, like getting out from under debt, learning how to live self-sufficiently, and being prepared for if/when the next unexpected crisis T-bones me. But I feel like I can finally start my life now, and I can't help but notice that, for some reason, now I'm not as afraid of people in general as I used to be.
Hope that helps.

So lots to unpack here.
The past 6 months have been exceedingly difficult for me. I dealt with homelessness, hotel hopped, ended up losing my vehicle, and had a death in the family. In the midst of all that, one of my closest friends got in legal trouble and wound up in jail. I got in touch with him via email and we’d chat regularly. When he needed a few dollars for commissary or the phone, I’d give what I could. He was extremely grateful, so when I told him what was going on with my living situation, he insisted that I go crash at his place for as long as necessary.
It took me several weeks to come around to the idea because he still had 2 roommates living there; but neither of them had spoken to him much in the 3 months he’d been incarcerated. So he asked me to keep him up to date on what was going on at his place while I stayed. His dog was still there and I could tell it made him anxious not knowing if she was being taken care of.
Neither of them acknowledged him when he reached out; In fact, they didn’t do much of anything at all. They stopped paying him rent, refused to answer his phone calls ultimately because something he said rubbed them the wrong way, bad mouthed him behind his back, and would question me about what he would message me and what he said when he called, which to me was insane—they. could’ve answered their phones and found out themselves!
About the roomies: neither one works, but they’re both “handymen”, so one of them will go and do odd jobs or doordash about 1-2x a week. The other one never leaves the house. Ever. If he does, it’s either to dumpster dive or to run to the store to get himself groceries, but he never stays gone long at all. Both have bad drug habits and mood swings.
So I got to the condo and got myself situated on the living room couch, trying to make myself as small as possible. The entire place reeks of cat piss, it’s crowded with random things they found in the garbage, and is also home to about 7-8 cats and 2 dogs. They feed these animals and “usually” let them out before they’ve gone potty in the house. That’s it. The animals have no structure, they fight, they relieve themselves wherever, and they’re generally more trouble than anything else. I love animals, so I help with them as much as I can anyway.
Roomie1 is the cat owner. He busies himself most days by basically playing Tetris with all the garbage he’s hoarded in the living room or on the back patio while incorporating more unnecessary things when he goes for his weekly dumpster dives. He’s stayed here the longest, but according to my friend who owns the place, has not been keeping up with his rent. R1 would justify that by bringing up all he’s done for my friend, like cleaning and light maintenance. He goes on these long winded rants about how my friend dropped the ball, hadn’t been keeping up with the mortgage, etc. Yet when I’d tell him he should just talk to him, he’d say he wasn’t ready.
2 weeks into sleeping on a urine stained couch in a fairly active, cluttered living room, I realized the only thing keeping me from sleeping in my friend’s bedroom was the fact that one of R1’s cats had kittens, and the 6 of them were using his bedroom to keep them away from the other chaotic animals. My friend told me from the beginning I could have his bedroom, but I get anxiety when I feel like I am asking for too much, or generally speaking up for myself. I was honestly kind of annoyed when I saw the bedroom situation, but I didn’t want to seem spoiled; I was honestly just grateful to have a place to lay my head at night.
Fast forward to now; I am currently in the bathroom with the remaining kittens and their mother. They are sweet animals, but R1 does very little in terms of maintaining the litter box and cleaning up the many accidents that they make outside of the litter box. I’ve bought cleaners with enzymes, air fresheners, etc. to keep the smile down, but I don’t feel like any of this is my responsibility. I am paying my friend what we agreed upon, but both of these guys act like it’s their house I’m in, when they are tenants just like I am. The only difference is, I’m doing what I can to stay in touch with my friend. I work full-time, and I’m paying him what he’s asking me. R1 constantly asks me for food, and when he does get a little bit of money, he spends it on gambling or a new vape.
I’m starting to get fed up, none of the situation is remotely fair, but at the same time, I don’t want to come across as ungrateful or entitled to anything. I am not. It was a blessing to offer me temporary housing, but I just don’t know how to deal with the situation any longer. It’s not getting any better anytime soon…please help.

I’ve had this cat (she seems less than a year old) visit the same spot in my house for weeks now, I give her milk but I don’t know if someone owns her. I’ve tried adding collars asking if she’s owned but I think she takes them off. She spends the day here but leaves before night so I’m not sure.
Does she look pregnant? Don’t think she’s spayed, she’s at the same spot 90% of the time and there’s pulsating at her abdomen.
I’ve never had a cat or any experience so any help would be appreciated!

tl;dr: there's a gathering happening which means a lot to me and my best friend is prioritizing me over her group of friends. I feel both awful and extremely happy at the same time. I (23M) am a college student. Throughout my life, I never really developed very deep bonds with people up until about a year and a half ago when I made a complete 180 somehow. Now, I have several close friends whom I love very very much.
My best friend naturally sticks out among them. Her and I study in different cities and we don't actually get to see each other in person very often. But we do talk over messages and calls practically every day and when we do meet, we try to make the most of the limited time we have together.
There's an event which most of my group of friends from my city of studies will attend, including me. It's a rare opportunity for my best friend to meet all of them, especially since some of them are leaving for studies abroad. You can't even imagine how happy it would make me. It's been one of my greatest wishes for some time now.
Coincidently, she had plans to go to cinema in my city with her friends from college and then stay at my place for the weekend to hang out with me. But you see, the movie showing her friends want to go to is at the same time as the event. She tried to negotiate with them for another time slot, but for one reason or another, they wouldn't budge.
We talked about this yesterday and I told her "it's alright if she wants to hang out with them instead and relax after a stressful exam period". But she sensed I also had something else to say and pretty much hit the nail on the head: "but you also think I should prioritize hanging out with someone I have a much deeper bond with and don't see nearly as often". She then continued and said she told them she won't go to the cinema if it's in that time slot and that I naturally come first.
If she had approached me asking for advice if she should pick between hanging out with someone with a deeper bond and whom she doesn't see often, or people she sees every day and has more surface-level bonds with, I would've immediately said to go hang out with former. Now I couldn't do it, because it was about me.
I'm unable to get over the fact that I'm being prioritized over a whole group of people. When you do the math, it makes sense why she would pick me. And yet, I'm overcome with a feeling of guilt and selfishness.

“Asking for help releases us from the toxic isolation that drives our addiction.”
Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 25
I was on my knees in a treatment facility, sobbing into my hands the painful words “I am so alone” when I realized how bereft I was of meaningful human contact. Sure, I had my acting out—a series of images that kept me isolated in endless shame, more extreme by the day. The insanity of doing the same things with the hollow oath “it will be better this time” ringing in my ears led me to hopelessness culminating in attempted suicide.
That day I made a commitment to reach out to others. I called and texted people. I asked people out for supper before the meeting or coffee after. I live an hour and forty minutes from the nearest face-to-face meeting. This requires a level of commitment and planning that I was not prepared to give to my recovery before. Other members noticed this commitment. They started to approach and talk to me. I was rarely touched as a child, and the hugs I was given really impacted me.
I now have numerous sponsees. I put time and effort into using the tools of recovery, and I have opened my heart to the wonderful communion that I can have with my Higher Power and with another human being. I have even learned to connect with myself. I have love to offer and I offer it. I am learning to accept love when it is offered to me.
I have love to offer. I will offer love today.
https://saa-recovery.org/daily-meditation-from-voices-of-recovery/

Was it a mere dream, the fruit of joyful imagination, devoid of evil? Or was it indeed a sinister matter, disguised behind the mask of a dream? For all I know, I’ll never know.
The room was pure white, the three doors were no exception. Who am I? In a moment of despair and confusion, I realized that I couldn’t answer. Yes, surely human, I concluded. In hindsight, it was quite foolish to assume, when I wasn’t even in possession of a physical body. What if I had been a brain floating in a barrel, forever and ever in the endless abyss of space, or even a supercomputer, crafted to convince itself, that it was indeed human, a product of nature. Then in midst of me contemplating my existence, all three of the doors swung open, surely not with a breeze of wind, but surely not with assistance of technology. It must’ve been the work of humanity, the sole bridge between nature and invention. In a strange turn of fate, I knew exactly where the door would take me to, the first of the absurd trio, lead to the past. The second lead to the future, and the third…- I didn’t know. Would the third be a simulation of the, or rather my, ideal life, or would I find out how I came to be in this pitiful situation? Yes, dear reader, you might advise me to choose the former doors, but I was simply afraid of what was hidden behind the purely white doors. I figured the whiteness must be a stark contrast to my state of mind if I chose the wrong door, I feared the prolonged duration of my stay in this room, that was purely white. I feared that this room was indeed my whole existence, my past and future, unavoidable and impossible to leave, that this was just a morbid joke by my imprisoners, to assure themselves, again and again, that they were indeed in control, by giving me hope. I feared that it was my own brain, that imprisoned me, but simultaneously I hoped this highly unlikely theory to be veritable. And then there was the third door. I was painfully aware that my conclusions, theories, justifications etc., were impossible to prove, they were just as baseless, just in desperate need of a true foundation as my existence. Without any hesitation I entered, I don’t know how. Everything after was a blur, I was Jane Smith. A teenage girl, that went to a school with an insufficient number of chairs in each classroom. She drank grape juice and was in the track and field team of her school, but only because her mother forced her. As time passed, Jane Smith rid herself of me. I couldn’t influence her actions or her thoughts, in the same extent as I had been able to before. I could feel myself vanishing, as a mere spectator in the stands cheering the absurd performance of the absurd performers on. Then I was Izel Pearson, a woman of 30 years. She was the daughter of immigrants and worked as an engineer in Copenhagen. I witnessed her wedding, the ups and downs of her marriage and then, yet again I was pushed out of her life. Next came an elderly Southeast Asian man, he rarely spoke or was spoken with. I never heard his name, he lived in a two-apartment flat, and was an atheist. My stay was cut short by his sudden death, due to the collapse of his respiratory system, nobody attended the funeral, I was the only visitor, though semi-willingly. For a while I was confined to his depressing flat, that even managed to bore down on to my non-existent state of mind, but then I found myself in Angola. I experienced life through the eyes of an impoverished teenager, with aggression problems but not enough funds for therapeutical treatment. One day his psychological problems got out of hand, and he stabbed a fellow classmate, injuring him fatally. He was imprisoned and forced to serve 25 years in prison, a life sentence in Angolan law. He managed to turn his life around and studied Medicine. It was my first success. More than 10,000 souls I inhabited, but I have no desire or need to remember, there were not many successes after him.
And then I was in the white room again, the doors closed. I was nothing, just as I always had been.
I’ll always be glad that I have such a great imagination. As the act of imprisoning oneself is far less humiliating than simply accepting fate, for the rest of eternity.

I (15f) have gone no contact with my grandparents grandmother (70f) grandfather (70m) because they love my sister more than me. My sister (16f) plays the biggest part here she's always been their favorite because when I was younger I was in the hospital a lot when I was born ( I was born deaf and also had hematomas) and a bunch of other stuff but because of that my mother had to tend to my every need when I was a baby and my sister had to live with my grandparents and they to this day are still mad at her for staying with me at the hospital when I was sick because "she never got motherly love" I agree she wasn't there for my sister but she physically couldn't be my father has been absent basically my whole life and even when he did stay in the hospital with me he fled and left me there by myself the whole night so she stayed with me only ever leaving to go home and grab clothes and other necessities. But as I grew up my sister has always hated me for being close with my mother because my mother and her never got along so she always tried getting me in trouble or abuse me as we got older examples would be her choking me, drowning me, picking me up when I would tell her to put me down she would slam me on the tile floors and laugh I have horrible back problems to this day because of her doing that so offten. As we got older she started doing other things as online dating people on an app called discord and Snapchat she would get obsessed with these boys she would talk to/date and would write their names 100+ times in a book and do "love spells" or whatever it was odd (I still find this funny jaja) but anyway we were in middle school at this time and I had gotten taken from my family because one of my teachers found out I had depression and sent me to the office and the lady told everyone I was going to overdose (never said I was going to) but I got taken and after I got back I was completely different I still hate the tags on clothes because I had to lable my name on the tags or inside of my clothes I walk up to my front door after I finally got released and she was on the couch with my mother smiling and when she sees me she got all mad and started yelling at me saying I just ruined her whole day because she saw my face and locked herself in her room I just went to my room and stayed there for weeks but she came into my room one day asking if it was fun because obviously it must've been so much fun like a vacation after I told her it wasn't and I hated it there she goes to school the next day and tells one of my friends to report her to the office because she's going to kill herself (obviously this was not true) but she got bakeracted as well, she got released the next day and she continued to do this 10 more times because to her it was like a vacation I resented her for taking my experience there and makeing it seem fun when I was depressed for years after and still am but this was all just excused by my grandparents because "she didn't get motherly love when she was a baby" but I was only in the hospital for a year at most I understand that's a lot of time but when she was two plus getting older my mother was there obviously I needed a little more attention than my sister but she was still very attentive to my sister but she was always worn out because my mother is Hispanic and my grandparents are very openly racist to her calling her "exotic" because of her skin and because she speaks Spanish when she was in America so they refused to help her with me and my sister because they were already doing enough by giving her a roof over her head apparently but after a few years my grandmother finally stepped in and started helping so my mother could rest and give us both attention when we needed it my grandfather took a special liking to my sister and had her help out at his business which includes driving certain cars he NEVER let me help even when I asked I would always get stuck watching her drive the cars while I got left out and say in the office chair playing with pens and he would always say "next year when you're older" and when next year would come he would say the same excuse the same year over and over so I finally stopped asking/going to the shop I would just stay home. After a few years (2023) now my mother and her fighting every single day is calling the cops on her because she's stealing money from everyone and she won't stop the cop tells us he can't do anything about it so she realizes she can get away with anything basically because no matter how many times we called the cops they never did anything so my mother told her if you can't follow the rules here get out and so she did she moved out and in with one of her friends (15f)who lived with her older sister (20-25f) and as she stayed there for a few months she got kicked out because she was sneaking out and sneaking boys in without the older sisters concent and she then called us telling us she had no where to go but she refused to come back home a few days later she moved in with one of her new boyfriends (20m) whom she stayed with for months but one day we got a call telling us there were cops and cps and DCF were involved (they've been involved for years at this point) but we got to the house and found out the reason she was under servalence was because two people put in reports for human trafficking because she was half dressed on the property most the time and people thought she was being trafficked well cps put her in care of my grandparents and ever seice she's been back i don't want to see her or be around her which apparently makes everyones life harder because it hurts them to see their grandchildren not getting along and my grandmother would get angry at me for saying no to family dinners or staying the night at her house because my sister was back but I would get panic attacks just thinking about being around her I would shake so bad but after a few days that she was back I was supposed to babysit my grandmothers dogs so she could go get produce out of town with my mother and sister but she wasn't ready and I asked her why she wasn't ready and she told me she wasn't going and that I was now going to stay at the house with her and my sister I said no and told her if she wasn't going I was walking out and going to my best friends house (she lives right down the road from my grandparents) and she got mad and said she would go then and my sister also went with Because she isn't trusted to stay home alone so I stayed at the house and when they got back my grandmother asked me which place we should go to dinner and I told her I would not participate in dinner because my sister would be there she got very angry and started yelling telling me to "get over myself and to grow up because we're sisters weather I like it or not" but she calmed down and started talking to my mother about a wedding that's happening in the family upstate and when the wedding happens I'm supposed to stay at the house for a week and babysit the dogs (not the first time I've done this) and I was okay with that because what teen doesn't want a house to themselves for a week ? Jaja I asked her to write down how much food the dogs get each and she told me I wasn't babysitting the dogs anymore because my cousin is doing it instead with her daughter and I was a little bummed out but I told her that's okay I'll just go to the wedding with you guys and she told me no I'm not allowed because I refuse to get along with my sister and she refuses to have two grandchildren who don't get along go to a wedding so my sister can go but I'm not allowed to mind you she has met my dad's side of the family before because she's spent summers upstate with them I've never met either side of my family because each part lives in different states and when I would ask to go upstate for the summers to meet my family they always said no because I'm too much to handle (I have autism which affects my ability to think like others and interact with people but no one really knows because its not noticeable unless I point it out) but I guess that's too much I admit I'm not the best person but I'm not the worst Im not rude to my family like my sister is I've never stolen or done anything bad to hurt them but she has done so much and they still forgive her no matter what but if I were ever to make one stupid mistake the world would end my grandfather even paid off her suspended license and court dates so she can drive because she was mad I was learning to get my permit he'd never do that for me I know it I just wish we were equal I wish my sister loved me I've always wanted a sister bond where we share makeup or gossip but I can't I'll never have that and it makes me so upset that I'll never experience like that when others do I have another sister I call her my twin even though she's older than me but we look so much alike no one could tell us apart when we were little I've only met her twice but I talk to her almost every day wishing she lived with me instead wishing she had been my older sister the whole time is that wrong of me am I over exaggerating I don't know I just wish life wasn't so hard I wish I was normal maybe she wouldn't hate me then?
I'm sorry this was long I just needed to vent I've never posted here before please be nice. Sorry if it doesn't make sense

I’ve been testing these on and off since I first received them back in mid-April - I will note that ⅚ of these have remained consistent since I first sampled them a day after receiving them.
As a short note, I prefer fresh and clean scents and tend to dislike “darker” (smoke, incense, leather, etc.) and heavier (extreme florals, extreme gourmands, anything headache inducing) scents. My skin tends to hella amp sweet notes (BR540 is straight candy on me) so what’s too sweet on me may be fine for you!
Aelfscyne – White amber, Meadowsweet, Wood hyacinth, Lonicera, Cashmere wood, Green Tea

• This is the only one that changed with aging - initially, this opened with extremely heady white florals (reminiscent of Amouage Honour Woman) with some stanky/muskiness that reminds me of an older designer fragrance that escapes me at the moment. After 2 weeks, the florals are nowhere to be seen in the opening - instead, I get softly musky (and kinda funky) woods that give way to a softer version of the earlier white florals. I think it’s super cool how the top and mid notes swapped with aging! I will put a “Headache Warning” for this one - the florals can be a bit overwhelming if you’re sensitive to that. Above average projection, average longevity (3-4 hours)
• 🌼 3.5/5, while this is well crafted and one is my favorite out of the sample pack, the white florals are a teeny bit too generic for me to fullsize.

Fireflies in the Garden - Honeysuckle, Buttonbush, Summersweet, Holboellia, Fresh cut clovergrass

• If someone made a hard candy that was grass and red flavored, this is what it would taste like. Red is a flavor, right?? There’s an overwhelming sweetness (from the honeysuckle?) that mingles with a green, sweet grassiness. It feels like a perfumer’s interpretation of the sweetness of freshly cut grass. Average projection, shorter-than-average (2-3 hours) longevity.
• 🍬 2/5, I was hoping for a more realistic grassiness but got candy instead!

Lilacs Along the Winding Drive Perfume - Fresh Lilacs, Spring Rain, Late Violets, Dry Stone

• This has the same “red hard candy” sweetness from Fireflies in the Garden - not sure if this is Alkemia’s “sweet floral” note? I don’t get any lilacs, rain, or stone, just vaguely floral sweetness.
• 🍭1.5/5, while not outright offensive, where are the lilacs?? While this was the free sample in my order, I considered including this in my pack because it sounds right up my alley.

Kintsurukoi – Japanese musk, silk tree flowers, Kyoto roses, yuzu, white floral aldehydes

• This is purely powdery florals on me that is very reminiscent of bathroom air freshener in the opening, no yuzu in sight. Eventually it settles into an elegant woman’s pressing powder and gives me a fairly vintage/mature vibe. Fairly low projection, shorter-than-average (2-3 hours) longevity.
• 💅 2/5, I think it’s a well-done powder fragrance, just not my thing.

Koi no Yokan – Plum Blossom, Lotus, Lily of the Valley, Cedar, Black Currant, and Tamarind

• Verrrry soft yellow florals - for some reason it feels like a “fall florals” vibe if that makes sense? Not fall in the Halloween/witchy sense, but they're not as bright/vibrant as spring/summer florals tend to be. The tamarind adds a very faint tangy note for interest. If Kintsurukoi is an elegant woman’s pressing powder, Koi no Yokan would be an elegant woman’s shampoo (without being soapy). Again, fairly low projection and shorter-than-average longevity.
• 🍂 3/5, I wouldn’t FS it but I’ll save my sample for when the weather cools.

Taste of Rain – Vernal chypre, Silver rain, Green ivy, Holy basil, Lilacs, Moss, Wisteria

• I don’t get any of the chypre, lilacs, or wisteria – this opens with a cool cucumber melon-like aquatic with short-lived minty herbal hit from the holy basil. As it dries, it turns into a heavy aquatic note for a fleeting moment but lapses back into the lighter cucumber melon-y aquatic note afterwards with a few hints of greenness. Average projection and medium (3-4 hours) longevity.
• ☔3/5, I’m not big on aquatics but I think this is well done, if not generic.

Overall, I’m impressed with Alkemia - I’ve placed a second order of samples because while I didn’t love any of my initial choices, I still liked them. I understand now why many people recommend them to indie newbies coming from the designeniche world - many of these have the same perfumey feel!
TL;DR - many likes, no loves 😔 but not giving up

Okay I hope this update makes sense because I am very confused and not really doing that well at the moment.
Well Reddit you changed my life. thank you so much for all your ideas and insights. Honestly I don’t think I would have had the courage to do what I did without you guys. I went to therapy Took the day off just to get my racing mind to calm down. Therapy has confirmed things you guys suspected. I am a people pleaser, I wanted to “save” him and I have internalized the idea that any effort and every penny I want him to spend on me makes me a gold digger. I will have weekly sessions to work on me. I realized I would have never taken this treatment from any of my exes. Even though I made more then them. The idea I had to proof myself “ worthy “ to be with a millionaire and not be in there for the money got in to my head pretty early.
I called one of his siblings I am pretty close with and just told her everything. She was not surprised but just sad about how unhappy he was making me. She told me that from the day we started he had this idea that “ I was out of his league”. He struggled to understand why I wanted to be with him and he probably just thought : it must be my money. She told me she already talked to him in the past to treat me better. She was furious about the proposal.
This information confused me a little. I was a little hurt she never discussed any of this before but she thought it was none of her business. She also explained how she and her husband organized their finances. He also doesn’t have as much as her.
I took the opportunity to pack a bag. I haven’t n’t found a place yet but I am going to stay with my parents. I made up my mind that I will at least want 6 months apart to get myself in order. I made sure my stuff was in the car because honestly I had no idea how the conversation would go.
so into the most difficult part. The talk. I waited for him to come home. He was pretty late but I didn’t want to sleep another night on this. Pretending I was fine while I was contemplating all this just ate me up.
I had written down what I wanted to say. I have never been so scared before. I didn’t want to hurt him and I didn’t know how he would react. I took some advice from here. I opened that I was moving out and that I wanted to pauze our engagement. He was very quiet and just sat down. I told him he really hurt me by calling me a golddigger and that I am done walking on eggshells and feeling guilty for just wanting basic things. I told him I was unhappy and felt neglected. I also told him that after 3 years of me showing up for him he still doesn’t think I am here for him, it is not going to happen.
He was just quiet. He didn’t say anything. I told him that the constant comparing to his ex was unhealthy and unfair.Punishing me for her sins was abusive. I told him comparing her to me all the time has triggered me comparing myself to her and starting to feel like she was worth more than me. One of the things about her was mostly ungratefulness. He would do nice things for her but it was never enough. The thing is, he doesn’t do nice things for me and I have to be grateful for the pleasure of picking up the bill.
I told him he was not ready for marriage. That I dreaded having kids with him and live like this. That is didn’t trust he would take care of me if I would become a SAHM. And at that point I just called him abusive and a user. I was getting pretty angry saying all this out loud. Losing my composer and script a little bit.
He remained quiet with almost no emotion on his face. I stayed quiet but nothing came out so I decided that I would just leave. Only when I got up to go he said please don’t go. He asked me if I was pausing the wedding or calling it of. He wanted to know if it was over or if he still had a shot.
I told him I wanted out of this house. I honestly don’t want to live in his ex her palace of sadness anymore. I needed him to go to therapy and especially financial therapy. I needed a separation. I told him I was open to couples counseling if he went into IC.
He begged me not to do the separation but honestly I really really wanted it. I just told him to think about it and I left him. He was finally showing some emotions. He was crying at this point.
He sent me a very long text somewhere in the AM. Told me he was a wreck and couldn’t sleep. He made all kinds of promises. He would go into therapy, sell his house, buy a smaller one and make sure I am taken care of whatever happens. He said he would help me decorate and we will make a home. He again asked me to please come “home”. But to me it doesn’t feel like home there anyway.
I feel very empty and tired. I have been sleeping most of the day. I feel guilty but also a little bit relieved if that makes sense.I don’t know if I actually want back if he does all that. Idk I am a little unsteady right now. I need some time to proces.
I will go back for the kitchen supplies and my tv. I won’t take anything else of the furniture. This for the exact same reason I was unwilling to buy everything: his house is huge so the couch is huge … I can’t take it.

I’m in a bit of a slump at the moment. I know I’m still young & I’m on a decent salary but please hear me out.
I currently work in a contact centre for a bank & I honestly I just feel like I’m burnt out. It’s the same calls every day with abusive customers & the KPI’s are just insane. As of now it’s starting to affect my mental health & I’m worried that come mid year review I may get put on a PIP as I’m not meeting my KPI’s now. Tbf with the stats shown by out stats team it doesn’t look like anyone is hitting them.
I’ve been working there for a year & a half now but I’m wondering how hard it would be to change jobs or if I should even consider it as I’m on a decent salary I think? I’ve got a bachelor of business in Marketing which I haven’t been able to use as I’m not near any big cities.
I want to do something to help the community. Not sit behind a chair for 8 hours a day getting abused by customers. I’m sorry for the rant but I just feel so useless right now.

I’m a 14yo girl and I have a confusing family. One day we laugh and another we threaten each other. I know my parents don’t get along and it hurts knowing I can’t hold them together for long. I’m selfish for wanting them to stay together a bit more for my sake but I can’t help it. I cant and don’t want to imagine my life without both of them in the same house. My mom says stuff to trigger my dad and my dad says stuff to trigger my mom. It’s like a chain reaction that never seems to stop. They told me they want to kill each other. I’ve always tried everything in my power to hold my family together when both my parents were suicidal but i feel helpless. My family is starting to tear apart right in front of my very eyes. I can’t bear to see them from loving each other to hating each other. How do I let go without having it effect my mental health?